Part 4 – Kindness and Shame: Why Trauma-Informed Help Matters

A major emotional thread throughout the episode was the pain of asking for help, and how the way help is offered often retraumatizes those in need.

Cass shared stories of young adults living in cars or abandoned buildings who often apologize for their conditions. "They say, 'I'm sorry it's messy,' and I’m like—you live in your car. You never have to apologize to me."

Panelists talked about how shame can deter people from seeking aid. Natasha emphasized how poor treatment at shelters and agencies adds trauma to trauma. Lori cited the film The Color Purple and real-life stories where people were just trying to survive, only to be met with judgment.

"It doesn’t cost anything to be kind," Cass said. Her client once cried during an intake interview simply because it had been years since a "normal person" had looked him in the eyes.

Kindness is a solution. Trauma-informed staff training is a solution. And treating everyone like a human being, not a problem, is the first step toward real change.